FIND YOUR TRIBE - Common Problems Experienced By Gifted Children, Adolescents And Adults

It is not easy to be a prodigy child. It is an entirely different life where you feel like you are from another planet almost all the time. Your exceptional emotional and sensory sensitivity is often misunderstood and mishandled. You can also feel isolated quite often. Other children unconsciously feel the difference and automatically exclude you or even bully you. Then you try to suppress who you are, making yourself less, in a desperate attempt to fit in ...... You go to school/university with much older children who can't be your friends. Not really. ... Unless people around you (including your guardians) are able and educated enough to guide you, which often is not the case.

Even as an adult, if you show more of you (not all even), people don't accept you. Not fully. They feel uncomfortable with you. And you learn to show just a bit of yourself. And even then you often regret it ............... People saying - you "make them frustrated because they want you to be 'ordinary with ordinary behaviour and expectations" and fit into their 'box' (meaning they have to find a different way to relate to you, which they are neither able nor willing to do), which as a consequence could increase the risk of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, along with social and relationship problems.

If processed properly though, and with understanding, adequate help and guidance you eventually accept yourself as you are. You get used to it. Eventually. (To be honest - not really, but you have no other choice). But you do stop trying to fit in and making yourself less. You distance yourself from those who you feel you have to dim your light for to be accepted (you realise that you have to). From those who can't relate and respond to you as it makes them uncomfortable and thus making you uncomfortable too. Who want you to be 'ordinary'.

You also find your tribe eventually too. And then suddenly - you fit in. You can be - YOU. You feel understood, accepted, included, loved .... Encouraged to be and show all that you are without fear of being rejected, labeled, misunderstood or being 'too much', without pressure that if you don't fit into their 'ordinary' labeled box, they will reject you. (Because they are as 'not ordinary" as you are). You get all the space and encouragement to blossom into even more and more ..... You let your creative force shine.

As piano mentors we often get to care about the artistic development of such young and adult humans. Different humans (but still humans just like any other) with abilities far above average and exceptional emotional and sensory sensitivity. Our duty as mentors is to guide them wisely and help them find themselves and their tribe so to be able to develop their potentials to the fullest. Feeling isolated can often affect their progress (and life) negatively. Just like every other human being, they need to be understood, accepted, included and loved. Their parents/guardians often could not keep up with them. The same applies to the standard educational systems. So to get a mentor who could relate, could keep up with their exceptional minds and personalities, and could adapt their 'teaching' methods accordingly is everything.

I am thankful for my tribe. It is small and scattered all around the world, but it is mighty ! I love you with all my heart.

© Alternative Approach to Music: Inspiring - Healing - Empowering, Xenia Elizabeth Zilli