It is ok and even necessary to step away from something that isn't working for us or is hurting us.
However, what is not ok is to hurt someone else in the process.
Therefore, setting the time and space for reflection - as much and as long as it is necessary - is of the utmost importance.
And - a CLOSURE. Giving ourselves and the other the chance to talk it through. Answer all unanswered questions. Tie all lose ends ... Start to heal ...
Without closure, it is very difficult to move on. There will be so many questions that need answering, without which we might need a very long time to heal and truly move on.
Without closure we might both end up and remain in shock and grief for a very long time, with so many devastatingly painful feelings running high, questioning everything and everyone, inside and outside of the given situation and context. It could erode our self-esteem, and even change our perspective on life itself.
It might not happen immediately, but unanswered questions, confusion and hurt, even possible misunderstandings, can slowly erode our positive perspective, our trusting nature, our openness to the world.
A closure can help both parties reflect on what and why went wrong, without blaming each other for that. It gives us a chance to understand ourselves better, to understand the other better, and the awareness of what we could have done differently to avoid the sad outcome, and even how to avoid repeating the same patterns (I won't say mistakes) in the future.
It also gives us a chance to replace grief with compassion. When that happens a closure might even become a new beginning, with more understanding, more tolerance, more patience, more consideration ... It is when a door closed shut becomes a portal to something new, something better, something healthier. And a fertile ground for learning and growth. A push forward .......
It is when we might realise that there is nobody to blame but our human nature that is full of flaws, conditioning, programming, and even unresolved past traumas - that realisation could open the space for COMPASSION to step in, and that is the moment when the both parties can start healing - together or in their own separate ways.
Sometimes, we are not able to go through a closure right away, as the hurt, or anger, or feelings of betrayal might feel impossible to bear, but staying open to a chance to talk it through, even if at some point in the future, might elevate us from low vibration emotions that slowly destroy our well-being and perspective on ourselves and others, to a much higher level of understanding, compassion, acceptance and even love.
We should always give closure a chance. If at all possible. Not only because it is the right thing to do, but to help yourself, the other, and finally the world (just think about that) to truly heal.
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